i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
