I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
