Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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