Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
