why im i the only drunk person in the library?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
