id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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