Barsexuality is the new black.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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