Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
