Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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