i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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