Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
