Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
