If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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