I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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