she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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