Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
