yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
