she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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