I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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