I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
