On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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