I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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