I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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