did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
