Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
