my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize