fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
