woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
