I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
