Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
