Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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