Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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