WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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