I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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