fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize