we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
