i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
