did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Houston, we have a blender
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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