YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
