Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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