There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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