My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
