sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
