brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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