Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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