He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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