Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
