what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
