Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
