The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
