Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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