Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
