Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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