fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize