Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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