porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize