So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
