how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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