oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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