I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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