Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
