please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize