Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
