Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
