I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
