shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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