This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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