He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
