i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
