dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
