Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh god the rape fog is back!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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