I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
