addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
