Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
