that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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