Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
