Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
