took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
