Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
