If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
